Arch Nemesis

My Arch Nemesis is the Lego Spaceman named "SpacePirate."  He is not authentic.  And yet he claims that he is.  Do not be fooled by his deceitful tricks.  Space Pirate has thieved his whole mix.

As you know, one of the major rules for what makes me the Great Aristotle is that I do not sample other people's mix.  While there are radio waves in space, I do not tap into those that come from the planets.  I prefer the Hum and the Sum of the quotients regarding the universe at large.  I prefer the sounds of the atmosphere, of space.  The world around us is vast, we all know this.

But SpacePirate is only interested in one thing, and that is your transmissions.  He rarely uses the sine wave that travels the universe endlessly.  Says he, "I'm sick of it.  It's boring, and I have no use but to escape it."

Now I believe that, to some extent, but be clear, Earthlings:  SpacePirate has stolen all your stuff!  Go up there and see for yourself.  All your Metroid games, the sounds, the samples.  He hordes them in that shop he calls a ship.  It can hardly travel because of how cumbersome it's become.  You can walk across the floor, but only on all fours, because the vinyl he's procured goes from floor to floor.

Spacetime is now.  I give you SpacePirate.Co.Uk

Some may ask, why "UK?"  Is that because he's British?
I doubt it.  No, that clearly can't be it.  He can't be.

But SpacePirate Claimeth:

"Aye, I travelled to the seven seas of the Internet, and back again.  I've seen the Limits of Aether, just like you.  Still, it's all British.  "Since I am of Pirate descent,"a cadence of quality which transversed unremitted across the Galaxy, "And the Universe is British..."  He falsifiably claims.

So many squiggly lines beneath these words I bequest.

I'd like to take this opportunity to address SpacePirate, in some regard before you visit his domain, as a precursory introduction to his personality and perhaps at times ornery ways.

First off, old SpacePirate Bro, I am not inauthentic like you are.  My classic White Helmet was procured through the successful destruction of L.S. Plato.  Therefore I rock the white hat as a testament to my greatness, having conquered the previous great Lego Philosopher in a duel of minds.

Here is an absurd construction of verbiage from SpacePirate, without preparation nor provocation:








L.S. Archimedes

Hi! Where's My Planet?

My name is L.S. Aristotle.  I am the Lego Spaceman.  That's the L.S.

My mission?  To find my home planet.  I've been wandering through Space for the past 32 Million years.  Finally I think I've located my home planet.  Is it Earth?

I have reason to believe that my home planet is earth.

Comprehension Questions

Powered by Google Earth Hacks | Map Details | Create your own!

1. Why does he refer to himself as "L.S." (?)
2. For what reason does this spaceman think Earth is his home planet?
3. Do you believe in Quantum Physics?
   
   If the answer to "3" is "Yes" proceed to next section.  

Science Questions

1. How far can you travel at light speed for 32 Million Years?
2. What is the relation between time and space (describe in a paragraph).  

Personal Explanations

• "32 Million years"
  I'm 32 years old
• "L.S. Aristotle"
  This was my actual toy from when I was younger.  I thought, then when I was 7 or 8, that I was actually friends with him.  Later on in life, as I got older, I began to write stories about Aristotle. These were all fictional stories, of course, but they told a parable; perhaps a quiet metaphor abou our place in the universe, and the placement of toys in our lives.

Other Thoughts

• I don't believe that toys are just for fun, nor is imagination just playful.  I take these as serious things.  If you see a kid with a toy and that toy is a Tonka truck, you just might have a future construction worker in the play box.  Games are metaphors for real life.  I'm sure of this.

Submit Answers.