Sunday, January 6, 2013

Arch Nemesis

My Arch Nemesis is the Lego Spaceman named "SpacePirate."  He is not authentic.  And yet he claims that he is.  Do not be fooled by his deceitful tricks.  Space Pirate has thieved his whole mix.

As you know, one of the major rules for what makes me the Great Aristotle is that I do not sample other people's mix.  While there are radio waves in space, I do not tap into those that come from the planets.  I prefer the Hum and the Sum of the quotients regarding the universe at large.  I prefer the sounds of the atmosphere, of space.  The world around us is vast, we all know this.

But SpacePirate is only interested in one thing, and that is your transmissions.  He rarely uses the sine wave that travels the universe endlessly.  Says he, "I'm sick of it.  It's boring, and I have no use but to escape it."

Now I believe that, to some extent, but be clear, Earthlings:  SpacePirate has stolen all your stuff!  Go up there and see for yourself.  All your Metroid games, the sounds, the samples.  He hordes them in that shop he calls a ship.  It can hardly travel because of how cumbersome it's become.  You can walk across the floor, but only on all fours, because the vinyl he's procured goes from floor to floor.

Spacetime is now.  I give you SpacePirate.Co.Uk

Some may ask, why "UK?"  Is that because he's British?
I doubt it.  No, that clearly can't be it.  He can't be.

But SpacePirate Claimeth:

"Aye, I travelled to the seven seas of the Internet, and back again.  I've seen the Limits of Aether, just like you.  Still, it's all British.  "Since I am of Pirate descent,"a cadence of quality which transversed unremitted across the Galaxy, "And the Universe is British..."  He falsifiably claims.

So many squiggly lines beneath these words I bequest.

I'd like to take this opportunity to address SpacePirate, in some regard before you visit his domain, as a precursory introduction to his personality and perhaps at times ornery ways.

First off, old SpacePirate Bro, I am not inauthentic like you are.  My classic White Helmet was procured through the successful destruction of L.S. Plato.  Therefore I rock the white hat as a testament to my greatness, having conquered the previous great Lego Philosopher in a duel of minds.

Here is an absurd construction of verbiage from SpacePirate, without preparation nor provocation:

L.S. Archimedes

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